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About Half of Men Feel Distant & Sad After Sex — Here’s Why

What Are the Post-Sex Blues? Here’s How To Deal With This Common Issue

After intercourse, some individuals really feel a way of euphoria, rest, and closeness to their accomplice. But that is not the case for everybody.

According to a 2019 study, nearly half of males report feeling unhappy, distant, or irritable after intercourse. This is commonly referred to as “post-coital dysphoria” (PCD), or the post-sex blues. But why does it occur? And are there methods to deal with it?

First issues first: PCD is nothing to be ashamed of. As beforehand famous, it’s tremendous widespread. More importantly, specialists say it’s nothing to fret about, and infrequently simply goes away by itself with time.

That stated, if this situation is negatively impacting your intercourse life, relationship, or total psychological well-being, know that there are issues you are able to do to manage — beginning with pinpointing what’s driving your PCD.

Here’s what to know concerning the widespread indicators and causes of PCD, and how one can deal with it.

What Are the Signs of Post-Coital Dysphoria?

Experts say PCD can manifest in several methods. You could also be experiencing this situation should you really feel any of the next after intercourse:

  • Aggravated
  • Sad
  • Apathetic
  • Restless
  • Uneasy

These emotions could set in instantly after intercourse, or as much as an hour or two after you end.

Depending on character and historical past, an individual experiencing PCD could begin crying or appear simply aggravated, says Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a medical psychologist and relationship professional.

“Some people with PCD may feel the need to leave the room or the situation altogether,” she explains.

What Causes Post-Coital Dysphoria?

A 2019 examine discovered that PCD is linked to:

  • Psychological misery
  • Childhood sexual abuse
  • Sexual dysfunctions

If you’ve had traumatic sexual experiences or are at the moment coping with sexual dysfunction, then intimate conditions can set off every kind of destructive feelings — like worry or disgrace.

There are many different doable causes, too.

Since you have got greater ranges of the feel-good chemical dopamine throughout intercourse, your physique releases the hormone prolactin afterward to carry you again to your baseline.

In different phrases, you go from a significant excessive to a sudden crash. According to Tufts University, that post-coital drop in dopamine could contribute to a low temper or different signs of PCD.

According to Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, a therapist and intercourse and intimacy coach, efficiency nervousness will also be an element.

“A history of depression, anxiety, or trauma can certainly aggravate PCD or increase the likelihood of it,” provides Manly.

RELATED: Study Finds Many Women Experience Depression After Sex

“For example,” she explains, “if a person is already sad or depressed, the feelings can be magnified if the sexual intimacy was not connective or fulfilling. As well, if other stressors such as arguments, financial unrest, body issue images, etc. are at play these issues can be exacerbated given the vulnerability involved in sexual intimacy.”

How PCD Can Impact Your Sex Life & Relationship

“Post-coital dysphoria is unlikely to have a major impact on your sexual and romantic life if it’s experienced rarely,” says Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist, analysis fellow at The Kinsey Institute and founding father of Sex & Psychology. “However, if it’s a common occurrence, it can potentially be distressing — especially if you have a partner who does not understand it or takes it personally, in which case it may become a source of conflict.”

According to Manly, PCD can create ongoing emotions of disconnection, significantly in case your accomplice notices that you simply appear chilly or distant after intercourse.

Bisbey notes that PCD also can lead you to keep away from intercourse and the destructive emotions related to it. Over time, this avoidance can start to take a toll in your total intimacy and relationship satisfaction.

“You may choose to use pornography instead of intimacy with a partner as solo sex often feels emotionally safer due to the lack of vulnerability,” provides Manly. “Over time, unaddressed PCD can actually tear a relationship apart due to the lack of emotional and sexual intimacy.”

How to Treat Post-Coital Dysphoria

If PCD is one thing you solely expertise from time to time, Lehmiller says it’s nothing to fret about.

“Psychologists think this may be a normal variation that sometimes happens following sex and that we shouldn’t pathologize it,” he explains.

On the opposite hand, if PCD is a persistent situation for you, and is triggering emotions of tension or melancholy, or negatively impacting your intercourse life or relationship, Lehmiller suggests consulting with a intercourse therapist. A licensed supplier might be able to assist you to get to the basis explanation for the problem, whether or not it’s associated to a temper dysfunction, an underlying sexual dysfunction, or a historical past of trauma.

RELATED: Men Also Feel Post-Sex Sadness, According To A Study

Bisbey notes that it will also be useful to inform your physician about your signs of PCD, as they may also help rule out any bodily well being points which may be inflicting it.

While psychotherapy could be tremendously useful, Manly notes that there are a lot of different methods to deal with PCD — corresponding to via help teams, self-help books, or journaling.

Manly additionally extremely recommends being open and trustworthy together with your accomplice concerning the signs you’re experiencing. By overtly discussing your emotions earlier than, throughout, or after intercourse, you’re giving your accomplice a chance to be extra supportive and accommodating.

“When partners work together to face PCD and address the issues with compassion, the relationship can actually become stronger and more loving,” provides Manly.

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